Figuring Out What Box I am In.

In my highschool and early college years I remember taking tests to figure out what kind of person you were. I remember the one that I took in a youth group that was supposed to tell you what gift you had. I really wanted it to say I was a worship leader because that was my goal in the church. But it said I was supposed to be an evangelist. But I did not feel like that was me, so I just thought it got it wrong.

I have always struggled to find my thing or path in life. My siblings had their own things. My brother was really good at cooking and tech. and my older sister was really good at art and science. I always wanted to be a singer and musician but there were always better people than I was. So I never really thought I would make it far with music. I still kept at it in choirs and being a worship leader in the church but did try and make a living with it. Because my sister was really good at art I tried that but was not good so I stopped. It wasn't until 10 years later that I found out that I was decent at drawing. 

My uncle and I were talking about this the other day and I was telling him that I never liked being put in a box. I never thought I was a musician or a singer. It has alwsys been something I love doing but I am not all about music. I did what was called a vlog on youtube in college but I wasn't super good at it and never thought of myself as a youtube guy or a vlogger. Another one of my uncles and I started a comic book based blog and we had some success and had a good time doing it. But I felt kind of confined by the topic material. I started getting ready to start my video projects or little documentaries. I don't feel like I am a videographer or a documentarian. Even with these writings I don't feel like I am a writer or a storyteller.

While my uncle and I were talking about all this and how I am still at 32 years old finding myself. He told me that throughout my life, even when I was a young child, he always felt like I was a connector. Someone who loved being with others and bringing people together, sharing with people things that inspired me to hopefully inspire them, always talking about many different things that I was passionate about. When i heard this it really resonated with me because I had never thought about it like this before and this explained so much.

When I got home I told my Wife about this and she said she always thought of me like native American storytellers. They told stories to connect people to nature and their ancestors. Stories were also used to teach childhood lessons or teach people about themselves.

So I started researching what it means to be a connector personality. I did 3 years in college, mostly taking psychology classes and sociology classes, and I had never heard of this concept before. But it explained to me a T. I read an article called The Power Of Being A Connector by Margot Andersen. When I read it, it described me perfectly. Here is a little piece of the article. 

“Those unique people who always seem to know how to help, or if they can’t, know someone who can and who quickly and freely put you in touch with them. More often than not they are the ones that make you feel at ease almost immediately, seem to understand situations even before you describe them and ooze warmth, energy and genuine interest in everything! Somehow they seem to be able to make things happen quickly. Whilst they don’t profess to know everything, often they know how to make almost anything happen. They are able to tap into well-known networks to help expedite information flow, access to resources and the expansion of ideas and opportunities. Connectors build bridges between ideas and actions by knowing who to ask to help get things done.”

But this connector personality explained why I never could find my box because I was connecting all the boxes to other boxes. I hated being put in a box. I am a link or a bridge to get myself and other people around me to think differently than they normally would. Even that test from the youth group saying I was an evangelist made sense because evangelists connect people to God. I like music because music is a great connector. I like comics because it connects several media. I like doing my video projects because it is connecting people to topics. I like writing these posts because it connects my life and stories to things I think could benefit others.

I have a hard time explaining my ideas for my website Bullerology and my ideas for video projects because they don't follow a formula, they don't follow a schedule, they are not confined by a box or specifics. I used to be bugged by what people thought about all this but now I am just going to be me and make connections when I can. 

Anyways, I am not trying to be anything special. I am not the only one like this. But I wanted to share this in hopes of helping someone find out that they are not weird or strange for not finding their thing or box. Being a connector might be why. Hopefully by connecting them to this information it wont take them until they are 32 to know this. so consider yourself connected… eww, i do not like that…